Ghosts

HelloHalima, Life, Writing, Written Pieces

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What does it mean to ghost someone? I am not speaking from a literal perspective as I am well aware of the social and emotional ramifications this *newly formed* concept has, but what does it truly mean?  I always wondered how someone could lose feelings for someone so quickly… feelings that have been cultivated and shaped to create a long-lasting bond between the two people. I’m talking about memories and inside jokes, experiences and shared ideologies. How is that just simply disregarded to the point where ghosting is even a possibility? I’m talking friendships, romantic relationships, etc. The ability to just cut someone off without a moments notice. Is this what life has become? The ability to end longterm relationships based solely on the deeply rooted secret dislikes that they possess? Now when I am talking about ghosting, I am not talking about the guy you may or may not have dated for 5 minutes or the temporary friend you had for a semester. I am talking about the longterm and consistent relationships an individual possesses in their adult life.

Does the process of this “ghosting” have tell-tell signs? Is it something that has been contemplated and considered? Or are the perpetrators just people who have had enough of an individuals bullshit? Is it because the victims of “ghosting” are just in denial and oblivious to the experience and the state of the relationship? These questions run around in my mind as I ponder this confusing yet intriguing conflict. What happened to the idea of ending a relationship based off of mutual closure or are the people who believe in this just optimistic in a world so harsh and lonely? I am only thinking about this because I am reminded of a specific conversation I recently had with someone on the bus.

(For privacy purposes I will omit the names) Jess* was talking to me about the problems she was having with her best friend Leo*.

“I’m just so pissed about Leo not responding to my calls,” she says in a small sad voice. “I’m not sure what happened or what I did but we got into a weird fight about movie tickets…” She glances at me and notices my quizzical face and answers before I can even get a word in, “Yeah, don’t ask about that, long story. The thing is, I think he’s ghosting me. The vibe between us does not feel the same, it’s been the same for a while and I think he is just done with being my friend…” she continues to talk about the history she has with him and how she can’t believe a ten year friendship is fizzling out over nothing. I stare at my smart and beautiful friend and wonder, if someone is capable of ghosting her then what does this mean for our society? I thought about it for a second and wondered, you grow out of shirts, you grow out of trends but is it possible to grow out of friends?

In life you are bound to experience losses, some are through unfortunate circumstances, some are through time but now it is through the art of ghosting. Is this the first tell-tale sign of growing up? It seems the most painful breakups are the ones with best friends.

XO,

Halima

 

memories p1 

HelloHalima, HMFpoetry, Poetry, Writing, Written Pieces

 

 

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I was rummaging through my closet and came across a box of photographs and there you were.

Your effortless beauty and heartwarming smile

frozen in time, captured by a single random moment of wonder and curiosity.

I remember that day vividly: I had just purchased my new camera and you were the first person I wanted to photograph.

At the time, you were annoyed,

At the time, you did not wish to be photographed… but of course I did not oblige.

You laughed after you saw the photo and told me to take another, and another turned into another which turned into a photoshoot.

But who could even fathom that 4 years later, I would be sitting here and you would be gone.
It’s unimaginable to think that the happiness I felt with you in that sheer moment of spontaneity will never be felt or experienced again.

Instead as I look at this photograph, I yearn for the penultimate moments before,

I yearn for the moments after and to have one last conversation with you…

It’s quite tragic really, the emptiness and nostalgia that comes over me,

It is tragic how I can vividly remember this moment but cannot even recall the last thing I said to you,

the last thing you said to me, our final and distinct memory.

I miss you.

Truth

HMFpoetry, Poetry, Writing, Written Pieces

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I wanted you to know the truth and nothing but 

and yet a spiral of lies consumed us.

the type that allowed us to be friendly for a while

and yet conniving and evil when the day was up.

the truth behind betrayal is that you never see it 

coming, it blinds you like a ray of light peeking through

a half-drawn curtain

it consumes you as you try to think of the reasons why

why? why? you wonder to yourself as you try to think past

the rage and sadness that overwhelms you

but the sun sets and the day is complete

the friend i knew no longer knows me 

the relationship is severed like a clogged artery 

and the night begins anew

                             -HMF

Questions

HMFpoetry, Poetry, Writing, Written Pieces

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I often wonder what would have happened if I had said it back then. Would things have been different? Would you still be the person I know today? Would we still maintain the relationship we have today? Would those three letter words impact the course of our journey through this world? Would it have made a difference if I did? These questions plague my mind and yet when I think of you, all I see is the darkness from that day.

-HMF

New Chapter

HelloHalima, Writing, Written Pieces

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First post aka the start of something new *cue high school musical song*. As the great Lorelai Gilmore once said, “My brain is a wild jungle full of scary gibberish!” SdfaksjdfkasdjfaksjdfJ!! Which roughly translates to, I can’t believe I am finally posting my first ever post on my blog! I don’t know why I’m using all these exclamation marks because I am pretty sure the only people who will be reading this consist of my best friends and 3 followers on Tumblr. Hi guys!! Shout out to all of y’all for real. There was so much pressure to have the perfect “first post”… for the past couple of days I would formulate what I wanted to say and then quickly save it as a draft, hesitant in releasing it and having it officially be real… But then I thought to myself, why do that? Why not just post honest depictions of what I am feeling or thinking? I found that in order to be creative, you have to let yourself feel and express yourself accordingly. The idea of writing has always been at the forefront of my mind, whether it be through the art of journals or *secret* diaries as my little sister likes to call it, or through notes on my iPhone, the ability to convey how you are feeling through a string of poetically placed words has always been my release. It has helped me in the darkest of times and has always been a constant. I am excited to see hellohalima grow and prosper into something that I have always seen for myself: a creative outlet for not only my frantic thoughts and ideas but for people to relate to as well.

I am actually pretty interested to see what this blog will look like in a year. I plan on posting everything from random thoughts, side notes, opinion pieces to reviews, poems and short/long stories… the whole 9! If you find yourself relating to or liking any of these pieces, feel free to subscribe via WordPress or via email. I would love to have you follow my work.

I am also going to try and stop myself from occasionally ending off posts with “XOXO gossip girl” even though I’m still bitter about how a (SPOILER ALERT!!!!!) certain boy from Brooklyn, New York ended up being Gossip Girl. 

XOXO  Gossip Girl 

XO, 

Halima