I had a dream where I was submerged in water, unable to move. My body scarily still- as if it has forgotten how to fight or swim. Paralyzed. My mind racing and head swirling with thoughts of mortality and all I could see is you. All I could feel was you. Perhaps it was the…… Continue reading 4AM
I know how painful it must be to yearn and yearn and yearn… but never have it reciprocated. How your smile must fade when you see him holding her, a tight grasp that will never loosen. Do your dreams fade a little, every time he speaks of her? Do you feel like what once was…… Continue reading FATE
Rejection. As the great Oprah Winfrey once said: “I don’t want anyone who doesn’t want me”. I have been dealing with this reality a lot lately. I was told- perhaps even warned about how it would begin to consume my life. You go through 4 years of undergraduate to complete a degree and in that time, you…… Continue reading REJECTION: JOBS, SHOOT YOUR SHOT 2017, GOALS & ASPIRATIONS
After a very long blog hiatus, I am back! The real question is- am I better? I’ve been so caught up with the stresses of school, final exams, assignments… but I’m DONE! I am happy to say that I am finally finished my undergraduate degree in Health Studies and English. It has been a long and…… Continue reading BACK N BETTER: Updates, What’s Next?
A mile a minute, A minute a mile, My heart is racing, I can hear it banging, In the crevices of my ear drums now The hollows of my throat closing in, tightening deeper and deeper as I am gasping for air; The anxiety in my chest is an intruder as I am thinking…… Continue reading a mile
I do not believe in cliches, in love stories or narratives that end in happy endings- at least for us… I do not. All I know, all I know for sure is the depth of your smile and the warmth that emanates when you look at me and how I feel. But when you look at me,…… Continue reading Soulmates
I always get into bouts of creative energy- kind of being on a elongated sugar high (see: day after Halloween/Christmas/Valentines Day when you stock up on 50% off chocolate and candy) which tends to last for a few days until I get stuck. Just like that sugar high, I come crashing down and so do all of my ideas. I can’t even seem to write about my day- the crippling fear of judgement comes back in huge ways- in a similar way as the sugar high… except I never come down. This was kind of numbed in 2016- I learned how to push past the nervousness and just press ‘post’ whether or not the material is considered to be ‘good’- if it’s bad, if it’s complete trash, the feeling of posting allows you to finally be finished with a piece. It allows you to share your work with the world and move on to different material. It’s one month and 14 days into 2017 and I’ve forgotten what that feels like. My creativity is still stuck in 2016- unable to make the leap to this brave new world.