relationship rain check

"Stop spending so much time trying to pour yourself into people that aren’t ready or willing to hold you." -Maxwell Diawuoh Recently, I've been introspective on the idea of friendship- on what occurs when there's a standstill in communication, in trust, in love. Often, sometimes- perhaps knowingly or unknowingly, we shrink into smaller versions of [...]

Hope, Ambiguity, Confusion: a ménage of dreams

Ambiguity masquerading as hope, I reached for it, siphoned it into my life- hoping that it would somehow transform itself into the answers I was searching for, But Hope left me empty, left me wondering what was next- Hope did what she always does- like a chameleon, she transformed herself into something new- something different, [...]

Valentine’s Fool

It’s easy to say that I miss you- but perhaps that’s a lie, It’s only when the memories rush through my mind, Montages of happy beginnings and abrupt endings, Maybe I miss the memories the most And you the least, I definitely do not miss the pain you caused me, Sometimes if I shut my [...]

Anxiety+Mental Health in the age of #BellLetsTalk

I wrote this poem a couple years ago when I felt consumed by anxiety/depression. For me, it wasn't about the quality of the poem but the outlet it provided me to feel calm again. An anxiety attack makes you feel out of control, elevates the beating of your heart- to create intense palpitations, makes you [...]

January 2019: c-c-changes!

It's that time of the year again, a new year/ the freshness of a new start. Snow's falling on Toronto's cemented streets, lush pilings that's pretty to look at but dreadful to walk/drive through. In true global warming fashion, it's all gone the next day. Kind of makes you feel hopeful! The feeling of a [...]

forgetfulness

You are a stranger in my mind- roaming about with no substance of memory to hold you up. Pedestals you once occupied- now torn down- renovated into vacancies that will never be filled again. Souls cascading into an ever flowing stream of awkward encounters and empty relations. The love- one that was once plentiful and [...]

Word Vomit/ What’s Next?

Free falling into an unknown abyss/ reliving dreams shaping up into nightmares, sleepless nights and empty thoughts/ feeling kind of lost, distractions only last a while. Cycles of repetitive charades, will I ever be content? Premature happiness brought on by moments of complete bliss, will it ever be enough? Incomplete contemplation and contemplated hesitation, what's [...]

flashbacks of kenya

Do you have a happy place? A memory that you constantly hold dear? One that stops you from going to the deepest darkest places in your mind? Kenya. I dream of you. I stop to drink everything in. The sights, the sounds, the long stretch of road between Eastleigh and Jomo Kenyatta International Airport as [...]

Poetic Rebirth

All my poetry is starting to sound like it is for you. Beautifully written prose all strung together, encapsulating how I feel. But how do you feel? It's been clear that the mountains you wish to move are not for me, The songs you sing, not meant for my ears. But how do you feel, [...]

December blues + UPDATES

It's happened again! This time, the reason for my mia-ness have been a combination of a matter of domain wars with WordPress + Godaddy.com + writing for NaNoMo and trying not to rip my hair from my scalp. I feel as though all my creativity  has been sucked dry by trying to remain consistent in my [...]

Inconsistency n Anxiety: What gives?

How easy is it to be consistent? In the hobbies you have, the books you *attempt* to read after someone recommends yet another "coming of age" novel to you, in the relationships you have or the dreams you try and pursue? Are you consistent? I can begin by saying, no I am not. Not as [...]

Letter to Halima pt 1

  Dear Halima, it's me again. I spoke to you once, ten years past. We spoke of love and life's influence, We spoke of dreams and disingenuous friends. We spoke of what you needed to do next, A type of confidence rooted in experience. We spoke of your heart and how gentle it is, We [...]

BACK N BETTER: Updates, What’s Next?

After a very long blog hiatus, I am back! The real question is- am I better? I've been so caught up with the stresses of school, final exams, assignments... but I'm DONE! I am happy to say that I am finally finished my undergraduate degree in Health Studies and English. It has been a long and [...]

a mile

  A mile a minute, A minute a mile, My heart is racing, I can hear it banging, In the crevices of my ear drums now The hollows of my throat closing in, tightening deeper and deeper as I am gasping for air; The anxiety in my chest is an intruder as I am thinking [...]

Soulmates

I do not believe in cliches, in love stories or narratives that end in happy endings- at least for us... I do not. All I know, all I know for sure is the depth of your smile and the warmth that emanates when you look at me and how I feel. But when you look at me, [...]