OCTOBER’S SONG

HelloHalima, HMFpoetry

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The air was crisp and thick with last nights rain,

The sun kissed the tall autumn skyline as birds sang their soliloquies

And I was standing there unchanged.

The illustrious clouds painted a vivid cascade, so heartbreakingly beautiful that it was difficult to leave.

It was difficult to comprehend

The boundless constraint of nature.

The quiet was deafening so I started to sing a song.

You could hear the octaves of my voice shake the trees

Echo in the mountains.

The song echoed as it reminded me of the beauty you possessed

Beyond the pines.

I sang this song in tribute of you.

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In Between

HelloHalima, HMFpoetry

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I have found myself in a state of in between, 

 a limbo-like state that makes me constantly feel like I’m dangling from the edge of a cliff,

one hand simply separating me from plummeting to my untimely death.

I am between two selves,

two feelings,

two possible outcomes of my life’s journey.

I am between liking the way you make me feel and hating you with every fibre of my being.

Between laughing at your jokes, no matter how corny

and wanting to forget about you entirely.

Between hearing you say “I love you” and wishing desperately for

an “I hate everything you stand for”, 

And yet I dangle,

my feet off the ground, far from any sibilance of safety, my heart gone with it.

I am in shambles, 

Torn entirely. 

food for thought

HelloHalima, HMFpoetry, Photography

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What if we actually decided to be honest about what we were thinking? What we were feeling?

What if we actually said what we meant to say instead of a redefined, edited and manufactured version of our thoughts? Our feelings? Our emotions?

What if we didn’t hide behind messages of “it’s fine” or “it’s not a big deal” and we told it like it is?

What if we allowed ourselves to live and breathe authenticity and not ignore everything with blinders on? What if we saw and responded without the use of rose-colored glasses?

Why can’t we just live in a world where we tell the people that we love, that we love them?

These questions race through my mind as I think about speaking to you, reaching out to tell you how I feel,

but I am halted by my pride so I hide like always, behind a facade of laughter and nonchalance.

In time, all these questions find their answers: realizations contemplated after epiphanies cultivated,

To be honest means to be truthful with myself, that’s a pill I am not ready to swallow.

To say what I mean, means to be real with myself and all that I feel in a world so hallow and cold.

Truth can be a fickle thing, coated in a syrup too sticky to lay my fingers on.

I wish I could embrace it, change it and swallow it whole,

Food for thought.

 

 

Good-Bye

HMFpoetry

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It has been 5 years and quite some time now,

But it still feels like I have just lost you.

I remember the phone ringing

and with it my life was forever changed.

Like a fresh wound just inflicted upon my skin,

the pain overwhelms me and shocks me to the core.

It is so terribly painful to think of

a world without you,

So I try not to think about it and

push it to the back of my mind.

Then I realized that it is truly difficult for me to even fathom

The idea that every second without you

 is a reminder of what no longer remains.

I realized that just like ripping off a band-aid, the pain was still there

lingering and slightly above the surface.

What I would give to have

mere seconds with you,

To update you about all the new chapters in my life,

To laugh with you during the joyful moments,

ones that are filled with wonder and glee

To cry with you when life becomes dark and dreary

But original thoughts eventually re-surface

and you have to face the facts,

You are gone and have left me.

Good-bye.

I will love you, always.

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HelloHalima, HMFpoetry, Poetry, Writing, Written Pieces

 

 

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I was rummaging through my closet and came across a box of photographs and there you were.

Your effortless beauty and heartwarming smile

frozen in time, captured by a single random moment of wonder and curiosity.

I remember that day vividly: I had just purchased my new camera and you were the first person I wanted to photograph.

At the time, you were annoyed,

At the time, you did not wish to be photographed… but of course I did not oblige.

You laughed after you saw the photo and told me to take another, and another turned into another which turned into a photoshoot.

But who could even fathom that 4 years later, I would be sitting here and you would be gone.
It’s unimaginable to think that the happiness I felt with you in that sheer moment of spontaneity will never be felt or experienced again.

Instead as I look at this photograph, I yearn for the penultimate moments before,

I yearn for the moments after and to have one last conversation with you…

It’s quite tragic really, the emptiness and nostalgia that comes over me,

It is tragic how I can vividly remember this moment but cannot even recall the last thing I said to you,

the last thing you said to me, our final and distinct memory.

I miss you.