How easy is it to be consistent? In the hobbies you have, the books you *attempt* to read after someone recommends yet another “coming of age” novel to you, in the relationships you have or the dreams you try and pursue? Are you consistent? I can begin by saying, no I am not. Not as much as I wish I was. If you would like to see the opposite of consistency- take my blog for example. I post sporadically. Once in a blue moon, I will strike up the creative means to create content then I will save everything as a draft and publish it
months later never. //
This is where my anxieties come out to play: Perhaps my inconsistencies are being overshadowed by my fear of inadequacy, perhaps I am just a lazy person through and through- perhaps the idea of writing and the idea of people reading my words scares me. Who knows? What I do seem to realize is that inconsistency *sometimes* allows for a newfound perspective to be gained from the challenges you are trying to tackle. To have a routine, a plan, a dream and work towards these goals at a set time and at a set pace everyday allows for consistency to flourish within your life.
In some cases, it is easier said than done… especially if you suffer from anxiety or self-doubt. In my case, I suffer from the former and it sometimes has a way of creeping into what I try to accomplish in my day to day life. I find myself doubting my craft, doubting what I am interested in, doubting my own abilities and this may sometimes call on an anxiety attack or two. It is easy to dream up a plan in your mind but the realities in life (or in some cases, your own mind) sometimes find a way to deter you from your goals. It is easy to just take your inconsistent behaviours and dismiss them by saying “I am lazy” or “I am not good enough” but then what do you really accomplish? You not only hinder your own path to greatness but you miss out on opportunities to really *try* to perfect your craft and work on yourself.
Is this starting to sound like you? Are you reminded of any inconsistencies in your own life? Think of it this way, what are you inconsistent about in your own personal life? Perhaps it is a friendship you once held dear, a romantic relationship, progress with school, a partnership, a dream or an aspiration in your own life. What happened to make you lose hope? What happened to make you lose touch with your desire to complete this *said* project, to work on those relationships and to push yourself each and everyday to accomplish your dreams? These are questions I ask myself whenever I find myself falling short or not accomplishing the dreams I aspire to have.
What happens when your anxiety tries to eat you up alive and you are paralyzed with self-doubt? The worst part of inconsistency and anxiety is that you are often your own worst enemy. (I will try to stay away from cliches and catchphrases that may make you roll your eyes but) this type of crippling and paralyzing fear is what usually stops people with anxiety from contemplating and going after some of their dreams. It becomes apparent as you feel like you are constantly battling yourself-
Inner dialogue: “Should I do this? Should I attempt that? WHAT IF I am not any good? WHAT IF I am judged for pursuing this dream? WHAT IF I fail?”
While many of us (with and without anxiety) feel this way, it is a special type of worry that often takes away from what we are able to achieve within ourselves. It feels like a tug of war- an inner battle that is often hard to break free from. Just when you think you are over whatever hump and whatever debilitating feeling that is preventing you from going after what you want to achieve, it slowly but surely creeps up on you. A feeling that you just cannot shake. All throughout University and (now post-grad), I have had to shake this feeling as it tried to get in the way of what I wanted to accomplish. The trick to beating this and trying to rise above this type of feeling and contemplating prevention is to follow these three steps by Ijeoma Umebinyuo (three routes to healing):
- You Must Let The Pain Visit: Breathe in and out. While the initial feeling of anxiety- that pressure in your chest, the worry in your head and the debilitating feeling of losing hope or losing yourself may feel deafening, if you breathe in and out, rub the fronts of your wrists in a circular motion and repeat whatever mantra (I am enough, This too shall pass, My current situation is not my final destination) makes you feel the most at ease over and over, you will feel calm and at ease for the next two steps.
- You Must Allow It To Teach You: Know that “this too shall pass”, whatever situation you are in, whatever situation you are trying to get to and whatever you are experiencing is not going to define or take away from who you are. If you feel stagnant- stuck at whatever position you are in within life, do not stray away from how hard you are working. Do not lose hope in the fact that your dreams and goals will be tangible and attainable. The anxiety you are feeling will also pass. By knowing that it will, you are one step closer to your future progress.
- You Must Not Allow It Overstay: Understand this feeling, embrace it, allow it to show you what steps you need to take for growth, redemption and rediscovering what passions you are interested in. If you find yourself inconsistent in any aspects and areas of your life, follow these three steps and make sure you do not dwell with this feeling of inconsistency in your life. While your anxiety may make you want to dwell, to linger with self-doubt and self-criticism, know that you will be able to move beyond this and move forward with your dreams by recognizing that everything will eventually be okay.
While these 3 steps are easier said than done, focusing on these steps have helped me move beyond any moments of stagnation in my life and move towards focusing on what I need to accomplish to achieve my dreams. Inconsistency and anxiety may always go hand in hand for me but I know that my dreams and goals are attainable if I just hold onto the fact that temporary inconsistencies and self-doubt will not be as tangible as putting forth my efforts to work hard to become who I have always dreamed of being.
If you have read this far, I sincerely hope these ideals and steps help you in any way shape or form in the progression and success of your life.